


Dear Sonny

by jinglebin



Category: Days of Our Lives
Genre: Love Letters, M/M, Pining, Seperation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 23:59:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15983270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jinglebin/pseuds/jinglebin
Summary: On their first day apart, Will writes a letter he'll never send.





	Dear Sonny

Dear Sonny,

 

It’s the first day without you, at least that’s how I think of it. It’s really not the first at all. I have spent many days without since I came back to Salem. I spent all my days in Memphis without you. I spent so many days of my life before I met you without you. I remember all of them, but not as clearly as the days I spent with you. They’re everywhere, clearer than almost any other. It’s not the first day without you, but that’s how it feels.

I’ve been playing the what if game all day. What if I’d remembered sooner. What if I’d never gotten involved with Paul. What if he hadn’t gotten hurt. What if we decided to be together anyway. What if I left him now. A million scenarios, and all of them designed to give me more than the one day I had with you after remembering my life.

I remember every time you ever made me smile. I remember every kiss, every smallest touch. At least, I think I do. What bothers me most is the moments I never thought were worth remember. I can’t have those back. Not ever. And I want them back. I want back every look we ever shared. I want back every time you said my name and my heart stuttered at the sound. I want everything back.

It would be easier if I didn’t remember, and I bet there will be days I wish I could forget again. It feels almost impossible that I survived today, but it won’t be the hardest day. The hardest will be the days I get to see you. The days I see you across the town square and I have to hold myself back from walking over just to say hello. The days when we’re together with Ari and I have to hold myself back from touching you. Those are the days I fear. Those are the days I’ll wish I could forget.

There’s something I never got to tell you. Forgetting again wouldn’t solve anything. Even without my memories, I felt you with me. I carry you in my heart, and in my bones. I can’t cut you away. It was there, but I couldn’t recognize it for what it was. It pulled me towards you and I fought it. I fought it. That will be probably be the biggest regret of my life. If I hadn’t everything could be different.

A while ago you told me you don't think about me every minute of every day anymore. I wonder now if that's the truth. I know you love me as much as I love you. Not having you on my mind every moment of the day seems like an impossibility. Maybe it was the truth, and you don't think about me as often as I think about you. We just promised each other forever. If for you all that means is never-ending that's enough for me. That’s all I need. But for me it means always. Every minute. Every day.

 

Love, Will

 


End file.
